All the twerps

Dampened Seiko perfection in a beautiful case, let down by a micro-adjust clasp that marks its own links.

Gethin's covered this on the channel. The written review and scores are on the way.

Gethin's covered this on the channel. The written review and scores are on the way.

One of the best Seikos ever made. Gethin would pick it over the HBF1.

Full review dropping on the channel soon. Gethin's photos are up first.

His favourite watch ever: a mesmerising Zaratsu case and Hi-Beat sweep, Seiko magic incarnate, but it scratches if you look at it and has no bracelet.

An excellent, wearable white-dial field GMT that made him 'feel like a king'; only quibbles are a busy dial, weak lume and a thick glass back.

His pick as the best Seiko 5 currently available: tiny, light, beautifully finished, with a standout black dial and a bracelet well above Seiko 5 norms.

Gethin's covered this on the channel. The written review and scores are on the way.

The only aftermarket Marinemaster bracelet he approves of, with exceptional end-link integration.

A pretty champagne-and-black 5 Sports on a heavy mesh bracelet that Gethin can't decide on: 'not my cup of tea' one day, secretly liked two days later.

A good-value family of in-house GMTs: 'they're all great' for under GBP 400, though he is 'not a GMT guy' and hates the friction-fit bezels. Sprite and Silver Cloud are his picks.

A family roundup of Seiko Steve's SKX-style Seiko 5s: tongue-in-cheek 'I hate them all' but for GBP 150-180 new 'you could do a lot worse'; he rates the SRPD55K1 and a gold-accent one highest.

A good-looking blue fake-diver he does like ('it wants to be good') but the two examples' bezels are all over the place, and he signs off with 'get rid of them' in the dedicated 5KX review.

His favourite of the 5KX bunch: a plain, all-black-and-silver 'boring' 5 Sports he loves the look of, held back only by a painfully stiff bezel.

A stunning black GMT whose bezel annoys him: he can't see why it is called Black Grape, and one example's bezel alignment is 'disgusting'.

A lovely, wearable blue-sunburst SKX reinterpretation that he calls a 'stunner', though the friction-fit bezel and cyclops irk him and it isn't one of his two picks of the range.

His favourite of all the SSK GMTs: a handsome silvery-sunburst piece he is 'confirming is good'.

One of his two picks of the SSK GMTs: a beautiful, eye-catching best seller that is 'not a Rolex, but pretending to be one'.

A freaky salmon-pink limited edition he wouldn't buy himself but can see the appeal of, with the loosest bezel of the lot.

A rose-gold-accented champagne GMT he likes: 'really good', 'absolutely proper'.

A boutique-exclusive champagne two-tone that unexpectedly won his heart: warm, well-finished and rare, though the bezel isn't the best and the clasp is the usual one.

A smart, handsome dress watch with a lovely dial and great value, though a big 42 mm and not Gethin's kind of watch.

A mid-tier Seiko 'paradise': a luxury-feeling case at a mid-tier price, with great bezel action. Gethin loves the Sumos.

Still 'an exceptional time warrior', but he prefers the Gen 2's dial and domed crystal. Only for big wrists.

Excellent value GMT in the Marine Master case, but he hates the dial and clasp and says he would not buy it.

A rad, comfortable little PADI Samurai with a superb green dial that Gethin loves, held back by a so-so stamped clasp; great at 400-450 pounds.

A beautiful 'baby Marine Master' with a stunning case, but he calls it an MM200 with a freaky dial, finds the lume poor, and wouldn't buy it.

A huge, goofy and gorgeous Sumo: casework that beats Rolex and Omega, great comfort, only for big wrists. A real favourite.

Dedicated review is lukewarm: a pretty black-and-gold starter Seiko 5 at GBP 159, but 'best left to the newcomers' for Gethin. (He is more positive about it in later videos: see notes.)

A smart little SKX-alike that he would never buy himself: great price at GBP 169, but bezel feel and the blue lume let it down.

A gorgeous, behemoth Samurai with a stunning manta-ray dial, ruined only by a poor bracelet, a cyclops and a grindy crown.

A remarkable-looking, very comfortable and beautifully finished three-hander that Gethin would seriously consider buying, despite disliking the Alpinist.

A very nice, well-made and good-value GMT diver, but Gethin would not buy one: he dislikes GMTs and the Blue Wave dial.

Smart, well-built and in a gorgeous cobalt, but the octagonal bezel isn't for him: he'd wear it to the office, not the beach.

His grail Marinemaster and favourite of the lot: he prefers it to the newer generation and to the SLA047.

A dial that won him over: splendid cave-diver gradient on the proven SLA case and bracelet, though the clasp is the usual letdown.

A well-made, slim and comfortable skin-diver case that Gethin likes but does not love: overpriced at GBP 2,930, with a weak clasp and end-link integration.

High-quality, comfortable, 'wears like an SKX', but he doesn't think it's for him, and the stamped clasp is a sore point at this price.

The black one of the pair, which he slightly prefers: high-quality, comfortable, 'wears like an SKX', but not for him, and the stamped clasp is a sore point.

A stunning, understated purist's diver, the simplest of the four, with casework he calls exceptional.

A niche but beautiful titanium field watch with a bezel feel like nothing else; Gethin loves it but at GBP 2,400 says get rid of it.

Seiko's pinnacle in Gethin's eyes: flawless titanium finishing, a sublime bezel and a fantastic bracelet, all of it unreal.

An awesome, eye-catching big plastic quartz statement clock that Gethin absolutely loves, pricey for what it is but nothing else like it.

Gethin's grail: the original Marinemaster 300, which he would take over the SLA023 'all day long'.

The faithful original: top finishing and the best bezel feel of the pair, but the X on the dial and the metal strap keeper annoy him.

A brutal, ingenious, £100-ish Russian diver that Gethin thinks everyone should buy immediately.

A gift he'll keep forever: a stunning dial and a beautiful 4R35, but not his cup of tea, so it only comes out for funerals and weddings.

Pretty much the only proper case-fitted rubber strap for the Marinemaster 300, and comfortable, but best on a wrist of about 7 in.

The Doxa he never wanted but had to have: superb lyre-lug case, his nicest Doxa bezel and best timekeeper, bought for half price; let down by poor lume, a cheap clasp and (later) the hour hand.

The best Seiko he has ever worn: a glimmering anthracite sunburst dial, a Zaratsu skin-diver case and insane comfort, let down by a rubbish bracelet and a limited-edition premium.

A love-it-or-hate-it 1980s brute and Gethin's favourite: best bezel of his Doxas, great lume, a bracelet with incredible drape, but a disgrace of a clasp and a tall case.

Ticks every box for £271, with a great bezel and great lume, yet Gethin just doesn't want one.

A small-batch New Zealand field watch, excellently executed, that Gethin loved enough to pay over retail for.

A handsome, very comfortable 'modern vintage' Pepsi diver with a nicer dial than the SKX007, wrecked only by its horrendous 20-year-old bracelet.

His first mechanical watch and his favourite: bulletproof, never serviced in nearly ten years, never for sale.

A £250 Frankenstein beater he praised for comfort one day and told to 'send it back' a few months later.

One of his favourites: banana case, lacquer bezel with sublime action, slim and comfortable, and a bargain at £500 used.

A cheap, well-made little Seiko alarm with Olympic sounds that Gethin absolutely loves and can't recommend enough.

The most legible watch he's ever seen: invisible crystal, Lego hands and near-unscratchable submarine steel. Bezel and clasp grated at first, but it went on to become his favourite watch, level with his SLA023.

A staggeringly beautiful £236 Seiko with one of the brand's best cases; the factory bracelet lets it down.

One of his least favourites: 'an SPB143 on growth hormone' with a silly dial, though still a lovely 8L35 Seiko.

A sublime, glamorous reinterpretation of the Willard: papery charcoal dial, silky ceramic bezel and the same top-tier finishing as the SLA033 for much less.

His favourite watch case ever on a British-racing-green dial, with buttery bezel action, his favourite handset and mental lume. He can't choose between it and his SLA023, and only the painted triangle worries him.

A £6.50 pack of cloths that brought his beaten-up Turtle and OSD back to life; brilliant on polished surfaces of cheaper watches, never on brushed or expensive ones.

A Turtle he really loves for comfort, let down by a stock rubber strap and a lume sliver he wants gone.

His grail and favourite Marinemaster: an unmatched Zaratsu case, the best bezel action and handset he's ever known and Christmas-tree lume. The Prospex X, the painted triangle and the unregulated movement are the only things stopping it being perfect.

£12.50 FKM Tropic-style straps that he rates as good as straps costing about £100: very soft, supple and comfortable, and great for holidays.

A 50-quid, 200 m quartz beater with the Marlin on the dial: an absolute no-brainer, nothing better at the price, but the lume is very disappointing.

Light as a feather, gorgeous titanium case and one of the comfiest watches he's worn, let down by a skewed chapter ring, a stamped clasp and a fast 6R35. Buy used, not new.

A rugged, razor-edged slab with the best lume he's seen and a lot of watch for the money. The V2 costs more and cuts corners on the bracelet.

A strange, striking Monster with a wonderful bezel, a midnight-blue dial and supernova lume. Not for everybody, but he quite likes it, though the Gen 2 is still the one to go for.

Sixty quid for 'a piece of plastic', and worth it: supple, soft, perfectly fitted to the case. The Turtle's keeper slides about and the Sumo's strap runs short for big wrists.

Sapphire, a shimmering emerald dial and a bezel that shames the SKX for under £200: superb, apart from the bracelet and the lume.

A strange and wonderful big Mako with a fully lumed cream dial that annihilates the competition at night, let down by a pipless bezel and hollow end links.

Gethin isn't sure about it: a cheap 1970s-style reissue with a pointless 24-hour sub-dial and a stamped bracelet.

Not Gethin's favourite: a funny little gap and a strange bezel, though the waffle dial is quite acceptable.

An overlooked, discontinued SKX rarity that Gethin loves, irritating 7S26 and all.

An entry-level in-house automatic for under £70 with an exemplary military dial. 'I think it's great.'

A rare J1 Turtle: rhino thick with an exceptional handset, let down by a crap bracelet.

Not handsome, not pretty, not particularly well made, a bit expensive, but stoic and charming, and Gethin loves it.

Solid, Rolex-looking bracelet that reinvigorates his SARB035, let down by a cheap stamped press-fit clasp at £60.

A special-occasions watch with a 'mental' dial from Seiko, 'the kings of dials'.

The Marinemaster 300 'for three times less': same soul, slightly lesser body, and never pay more than £650.

Big but wearable, with a show-stealing waffle dial and a pure-pleasure ceramic bezel. Gethin would wear it proudly, just lose the Cyclops.

Gethin never liked the Tuna until they wore one: a huge watch that wears like a 42, with lume brighter than a Marinemaster and a quartz movement that's 'far from cheap'. The bezel is mushy and there's no bracelet.

Looks amazing on the SLA023 and he's very pleased he bought it, but it's so stiff it leaves holes in your wrist; the stock silicone is way more comfortable.

Gethin's covered this on the channel. The written review and scores are on the way.

A 29.5 mm, 300-metre ladies' Conquest he'd wear himself if it were bigger; the polished case scratches easily.

A tungsten-carbide, Powermatic 80 day-date he calls 'a great first automatic for anyone's girlfriend or wife'.

The Gen 2 Blumo with the fat boy font: a banana-case masterpiece that gives you four fifths of a Marinemaster for £500. Bin the bracelet and keep it forever.

A super-domed, in-house, beautiful dress watch for under £100. Shame about the 21 mm lugs and the strap.

A shrunken Orient Saturation Diver: refined, extremely wearable and a worthy contender to the sub-£1,000 benchmark, but the bracelet has to go.

A rugged, hefty, proper ISO diver that works perfectly well, but a mushy bezel and a misaligned lume pip make it not Gethin's cup of tea.

An old-school Turtle Gethin rates as a great, comfortable, highly recommended watch, despite a poor bezel and wayward timekeeping. Now Mr Jun's.

You don't need one. Both are nice ornaments: the Barrington got noisy, the Wolf Cub is silent and well made but he'd never pay its price.

Doxa's biggest, heaviest brute and the one Gethin would keep: one of the best bezels at any price, a sublime bracelet and a smooth movement, let down by weight, crap lume, screwed 21 mm lugs and a pip that's always slightly off.

The quintessential Doxa and his most eye-catching watch: short like a Turtle, extremely comfortable, a bezel he's never felt the like of and an exemplary beads of rice. Only the lume lets it down.

Quite good: a superb, saluted bezel and vintage dive looks for under £100 used, dragged down by a wobbly crown, a pipless bezel and a fast-running movement.

A mint, New Old Stock Halloween pumpkin with the best bezel of any SKX he has handled. The SKX007 is still his favourite.

An almost perfect watch and one of Seiko's finest masterpieces; not worth £1,100 new, but a steal used at £750-850.

A strange-looking little tool watch he really loves, with a bezel he rates above the 62MAS; let down by the bracelet and the retail price. Buy used, wear on rubber.

Not many negatives: a slim, comfortable, workmanlike Turtle that's a better watch in every way than the big one. Buy it used.

Handsome, brilliantly presented and great value, but flawed: an antiquated movement, a cheap bezel and a dreadful bracelet leave it behind the SKX and Kamasu.

An 'ingenious, inexpensive, magnificent' calendar watch for about £100, and the one he says he'll die with.

A lovely, high-quality in-house diver for about a hundred quid, let down by a tiny crown, a hard-to-grip bezel and a jangly bracelet; Gethin would spend a bit more on the Kamasu.

Orient's best ever watch, a bargain and a beast, but only for big wrists.

One of his absolute favourites: engineered like a £1,000+ watch for around £500, let down only by weak lume and a butterfly clasp.

Stunning manta-ray ocean dial and a night-and-day bezel upgrade, let down by the bracelet, the Cyclops and misalignment. Not really for him, but he appreciates the appeal.

Two well-made, beefy bracelet options for the Marinemaster 300 that he likes equally; he prefers the Engineer's straight 20 mm, and still has nothing against the stock bracelet.